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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22562698">hesitation</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/chimgguk/pseuds/chimgguk'>chimgguk</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, Insecure Changbin, M/M, Oblivious Felix</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 19:01:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,769</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22562698</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/chimgguk/pseuds/chimgguk</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>changbin is rather.. insecure.</p><p>Felix takes it upon himself to make his hyung happier.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Felix/Seo Changbin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>hesitation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I really wanna continue this !! but I have a bad streak of leaving things unfinished. I'll try my hardest though!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>changbin couldn’t deal with it. </p><p>sure, he seemed happy— normal whenever they were on a TV show and the hosts picked changbin as a member to tease and well.. he knew it was a joke and all, but sometimes, he’d get super sensitive, especially during promotions. </p><p>“ changbin— stop kidding, you’re not good looking! “ </p><p>“ pft, hyunjin’s a better rapper than you! “ </p><p>it was all just a damn joke, but why did changbin take it to heart?</p><p>after filming for Idol Room with the crazy famous Donhee and Conhee, changbin was exhausted— along with his fellow members.</p><p>he really just wanted to go home and crash. </p><p>“oi, chan hyung, I'm just gonna call it a night,” changbin said, rather quietly while kicking his shoes off in any direction, soon after just going straight to his bedroom that is shared with woojin and felix ( well basically only felix since woojin is always missing somewhere in chan’s room ). </p><p>“oh— sleep well then i guess?” chan responded, confused but he didn’t mind it much since he was pretty busy himself. </p><p>their schedule was really unforgiving. </p><p>when changbin fell face first on his bed, he sighed heavily, limbs too heavy— heart even heavier. </p><p>he hated feeling insecure and worthless.</p><p>he bit onto his bottom lip, letting his eyes fall shut. </p><p>but it wasn't long before he felt a dip on his bed and a hand on his back, the voice followed after obviously belonging to the one and only with a booming voice. </p><p>“what’s up with you, hyung,” felix asked, voice thick with concern, and his eyes reflecting the same. </p><p>changbin looked up at felix, biting onto his bottom lip with hesitation. </p><p>it wasn’t usually this hard— he spoke to felix easily, so why did his throat feel so tight? </p><p>“it’s nothin’— i’m just tired.” </p><p>felix wasn’t buying that and changbin knew, so he sat up, feigning a smile and moving to get up but felix stopped him with a firm hand on his wrist. </p><p>“hyung.”</p><p>“what is it, felix?” changbin slowly pulled his hand away from felix’s grip— or at least tried to— this kid was stronger than he looked. </p><p>“don’t fake in front of me,” he growled, voice deep, intimidating, almost the same as when he’s performing..</p><p>“i’m not— i..” before changbin even knew it, he felt a tear drop escape from his eye, and it was just that one tear than made him deflate and fall back against felix’s chest, his hands trembling. </p><p>“it’s.. it’s so dumb,” changbin groaned, sniffling softly. </p><p>even if it was super deep, changbin didn’t understand why felix cared so much— why felix wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him closer against his chest, his nose resting against changbin’s neck. </p><p>even though they were the self proclaimed changlix, a couple everyone shipped, it didn’t mean things were the same behind closed doors. </p><p>so why was felix holding him so dearly? as though he was a petal about to be blown away by the wind? </p><p>“felix— it shouldn’t matter to you, it’s not like we’re—“</p><p>“—i care for you,” the younger cut the rapper off, “and that’s enough for me to want to know that my binnie is happy and well right?” </p><p>if changbin wasn’t mistaken, he felt lips on his neck— but he was too out of it to actually care, his shoulders shaking with the soft sobs he only rarely let out.</p><p>and that was the first time changbin felt his heart throb— no not because he was in pain, but because he felt something more for his friend that he couldn’t quite place.</p><p>after that incident, or fragile night for changbin, he felt more comfortable and relaxed to talk to felix when it came to his feelings. </p><p>even during movie nights with the whole group, rather than his usual seat next to jisung ( they chat a lot ), he found himself curled by felix’s side— a bit clingy. </p><p>it began to show a lot but he didn’t even notice it himself. </p><p>sure, felix noticed the other had been seeking the younger out more and more.. but he didn’t really mind, welcoming changbin in his arms whenever he wanted to cuddle and smiling at him whenever they’d make eye contact during vlive’s or interviews. </p><p>it made the members ( and fans ) suspect things..</p><p>sure there was the ongoing meme of changlix by the river side— but this was different. </p><p>they were a lot closer now. </p><p>“oooh, changlix~” </p><p>the members would coo whenever they had a little moment when they were spaced out. </p><p>they’d pretend it was okay and not really deny it, but changbin’s heart would be throbbing, his palms sweaty.</p><p>the next time a similar event happened, the whole group were doing a vlive, joking around as usual until changbin made a joke to hide his own embarrassment of a comment he saw which read, “changbin and felix should marry!”</p><p>the moment he saw that, he brought up something unthinkable, something that even surprised felix. </p><p>“i’ve been in to jeonginnie lately~” he cooed, only to see felix stand up with jealousy— but surely it was a joke.</p><p>for some reason, chan pulling him back into a hug and claiming him as his own made changbin’s chest sting. </p><p>after that, there was a small rift.. </p><p>changbin and felix’s interactions were a bit odd— </p><p>“hey felix— the rap part might need some changes, the lyrics don’t have much impact,” changbin said, looking up at felix. </p><p>but the australian averted his gaze and just hummed before walking off. </p><p>their conversations were so short— so little. </p><p>it was suffocating. </p><p> changbin didn't realise how hard it was for him to be away from felix until felix actually started avoiding him. surely the little joke he made on vlive wasnt enough to ruin their whole relationship, was it? </p><p>. . .</p><p>changbin woke up groggy the next morning, his hair an aboslute mess and his mood? pretty shit. he fell asleep last night thinking about felix and how he had let him down- he should probably talk to him. </p><p>if only he could stop hesitating.</p><p>while he was being consumed in his thoughts, he heard chan walk into the room, his leader expression on as he began to speak. "changbin, you do realise it's almost 2pm? get up, we have to get some more recording done today."</p><p>changbin wordlessly got up and nodded, making a bee line to the bathroom and leaving a very confused chan behind. "the fuck is up with him..."</p><p>while changbin was in the shower, chan went down to the living room, bumping into felix on his way and stopping him before he could apologise and leave. "oi felix, we need to talk."</p><p>the younger aussie looked at his leader a bit confused, his brow arched. "what's up?" he asked as he was urged into the bedroom, deft fingers running through his hair in confusion as he waited for the other to start talking.</p><p>"is something wrong with changbin? he's more grumpy than usual-" the worried leader asked to which felix just shrugged, not really wanting to show what he knew about the way the other had been acting. </p><p>"dunno, hyung, he's been like this since yesterday."</p><p>"i need you to talk to him- the dorm will be free for you two- me and jsung are gunna do the recordings for now, you two can join after.' chan quickly swung his bag over his shoulder and began to leave- before felix could even say anything. </p><p>now he was just left with the quiet dorm and the eerie noise of a shower running down the hall. </p><p>"the fuck am i supposed to do now." he sighed, standing still in the middle of his bedroom for a moment before walking over to changbin's room. if he was given this opportunity to solve everything, he'd take it any day. </p><p>. . .</p><p>changbin walked out of the shower with a towel around his waist, and another around his neck, his body wet but sculptured in a way that looked far too good. his hair was matted against his forehead, skin clear of any cosmetics but still looking perfect. when he walked into his bedroom, he was met with the sight of felix laying on his bed, looking to the entrance before he quickly scrambled up and gulped. "hyung?" he questioned, as though the room was his. </p><p>"what're you doing here, felix," changbin asked, brows furrowed as he walked further into the room. </p><p>"chan hyung told me to talk to you.. and ask why you're so grumpy lately.." felix couldnt keep his eyes off changbin's body, couldn't handle how the water from the tips of his hair ran down his chest, past his nipples until it disappeared into the fabric of his towel. </p><p>".. you tell me. why would i possibly be so upset?" the older challenged, taking a seat on the bed opposite his, his expression darker than usual. </p><p>"hyung.. did that- y'know.. the vlive thing.. did it really upset you..?" </p><p>"oh, i dunno, felix, maybe i think im so fucking entitled that i got so angry when chan hyung held you like that."</p><p>felix winced when he heard the swear words, but more so, he felt some type of anger seeping through his blood as he stood up. </p><p>"sorry, but last time i checked, you started it with jeongin! you fuckin' made that stupid ass joke! i clearly did not like that!"</p><p>changbin got up to level with felix, pressing a strong hand against his shoulder and pushing him back down onto the bed on his back, walking closer and throwing a leg over his lap. </p><p>"answer me honestly felix." the younger male gulped as he could only stare up at changbin. "are you leading me on or do you actually fuckin' like me?"</p><p>at that question, felix really did not know what to say. the object of his desire was right there but he couldn't find the courage to speak up! but it was now or never.. </p><p>"of course... of course i fucking like you, hyung. why the fuck did i get to upset at that if i didn't like you? why would i be constantly seeking for you, craving your attention if i didn't like you? why would i-"</p><p>felix was cut off by a pair of lips. two firm and plump lips against his, and a strong hand on the collar of his shirt, pulling him up. </p><p>"hyung..!" he whimpered against changbin's lips, his body growing weak. </p><p>after few seconds, changbin pulled away and pressed his forehead against felix's shoulder, sighing a big sigh. </p><p>"lix.. you're so oblivious.. i like you too.. so much."</p>
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